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VivianjoifF 1 post Jan 20, 2022 12:58 AM	Narcissistic families: factories of emotional suffering. generic modafinil cost ?»?Narcissistic families are real spider webs. In them, some of their members, especially children, get caught in the threads of emotional suffering. In these dynamics there is always someone who puts his or her own needs before those of the rest, thus erecting absolute power. This power, in many cases, serves to boycott and manipulate with a single purpose: to be nurtured, recognized and validated at all levels. Those who have grown up in a dysfunctional environment with this type of characteristics usually coincide when reflecting a reality: "from the outside everyone thought my family was perfect, but from the inside we lived in hell". It is not easy to get out of these situations, and although these types of bonds often have their own fingerprints and particularities, we could say that in essence, narcissistic families share several points in common. The most characteristic is undoubtedly the existence of a set of very specific unspoken rules that grow within these toxic and, above all, pathological homes. They are rules that are raised around one person and where the rest are vetoed any right, any recognition. Thus, it is common for children to lack emotional access to their parents, to be ignored and subjected to silent and permanent mistreatment. On the other hand, it is very common for all these types of dynamics to be silenced forever in the branches of our family tree. In fact, when the child who has become an adult finally manages to leave this denigrating environment, it is common for the father, the mother or both to label the child as a "bad child" for abandoning them, for daring to sever this bond. The child who lives or has lived in the bosom of a narcissistic family does not have an easy time proving the abuse suffered, the emotional deficiency or the psychological aggravation suffered. In the eyes of others, theirs was a perfect family... Narcissistic families and "scapegoats "Sara is 20 years old and is studying psychology. She has not lived with her parents for a year and now, from a distance, she is trying to rebuild her life. To take perspective and reconstruct internal fragments in order to overcome the past and try to move forward. Hers, her wound, is focused on the narcissistic family she grew up in, where the power play was shared by both parents. Her father suffered from some kind of personality disorder. She knows this now thanks to her studies; however, no one ever dared to recommend that she go to a professional, that she ask for help. She did not do so because the context in which she lived made her possible narcissistic disorder tremendously functional. The reason? Her mother was the instrumental piece, but also another victim, someone who gave in to her every need and who was never able to set any limits. Sara, on the other hand, was the "scapegoat", she was the projection screen of a narcissistic father, the receptacle of his frustrations, failures and anger. Her older sister, however, was the "golden child", that is, that figure that the narcissist uses to mold her in his own image and who, for some reason, he considered to be endowed with better talents than Sara; the situation affected her so much that she came to think that there was something "defective" in her. However, it must be said that although the "scapegoat" bears the brunt in narcissistic families, the "golden child" is not in a better position either. Such high expectations are placed on him or her that suffering is also more than guaranteed. Common Dynamics in Narcissistic FamiliesDrawing the portrait, we can assume that it is not an easy task to get out of these environments. It is not because the fact of having grown up in them means having integrated many mandates, many schemes and destructive rhetoric that create a considerable impact on the child's mind. These would be some of those dynamics. Your family is the best, don't tell the outside world what is going on. The narcissistic family is very image-conscious. In fact, one of their most repeated messages is that "we have no problems, we are a perfect family". Parental dysfunctions. If in a normal family, the objective of the parents is to emotionally nurture the children, to offer them security, affection and education, in narcissistic families the children have only one obligation: to nurture the parents. Lack of effective communication. This is very characteristic. The most common type of communication in narcissistic families is triangulation. That is, the information is never direct and a clear passive-aggressive behavior based on tension and distrust is applied. For example, in the case of Sara, our protagonist, every order, wish or comment issued by her father will reach her through her mother, who will act as an intermediary and will use all her efforts to get Sara to obey. How to get out of an environment shaped by a narcissistic familyMark Twain wrote, in his book Huckleberry Finn, that we do not have to define ourselves by the wounds suffered by our family systems. In a corner of our heart there is always a piece of our own being that remains as "optimistic" as it is vital, and that should allow us to run from "absolute nothingness" to happiness. To achieve this, to get out of the barren and poisonous environment of narcissistic families, it never hurts to reflect on these dimensions. Understand that someone with a history of narcissistic behavior is not likely to change easily. However, there are therapies for this, but very few take the step to admit that there is something wrong with them. Let's try not to feel guilty about what our narcissistic family members may or may not do. Let's put enough cognitive protections in place so that we don't reach the point that Sara reached, and come to think that there is something "not right about us." Talking about your emotions or how you feel is useless in front of a narcissist, it is useless. We may get hurt even more. Therefore, we will limit ourselves to using phrases such as "I understand what you are saying, but I will not allow you to...", "You must understand that you do not have the right to...", "I ask that from now on...". We must set limits with assertiveness. Look for allies in your family or in your social environment, people who can understand and support you. Put distance from the narcissistic family. Now, putting distance does not always mean breaking all ties, but rather being clear about what situations we can handle, what we can tolerate or how often we will see them. To conclude, living in an environment where emotional principles are distorted is neither healthy nor tolerable, even less so if in that dysfunctional context there are children. Most often, when they become adults, they are incapable of saying "no" or of understanding that they have every right to set limits, to say out loud what they want, what they need and what they will not tolerate. So let's keep this information in mind. You might be interested in... Covenants of silence in family dramas Covenants of silence in families revolve around subjects that are considered taboo. Keeping silent makes people sick, even later generations. Do you know about dissociative identity disorder? 5 habits that will bring you closer to your dreams Dare to be born 7989aaa
VivianjoifF 2 posts Jan 20, 2022 3:48 AM	From needs to dreams [IMG]https://lamenteesmaravillosa.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/hombre-cima-montana-celebrando-exito.jpg[/IMG] [url=https://www.rxshopmd.com/products/antinarcoleptic/buy-modafinil-modalert/]free modafinil[/url] ?»?Since we were little, our teachers, parents and friends have called us to attention by telling us things like "you are in drowsiness" "you are thinking about shrews" "stop daydreaming"..... All these accusations had an intrinsic meaning. To us, they were calling us to attention for fantasizing, for letting our imaginations run wild to our deepest needs and desires. Little by little, as we grow and mature, all these desires, which as children we held firmly and securely, become hidden behind the smoky veil of present reality. Now, more than ever, we can affirm that it is the social situation that in many occasions buries our desires, making us take safe roads and main roads, leaving the secondary roads for suicidal drivers. But...should we stop daydreaming? The answer is No, not for a moment. It is our dreams that shape our aspirations, it is the goal we want to achieve and only if we strive and fight for them, they will become real. From needs to dreams -Could you tell me, please, which way I should go from here? -That depends very much on where you want to go," said the cat. -I don't much care where..." said Alice. -Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the cat. Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. What I want vs. What I don't wantAny human being you ask will be able to state a number of opinions about what he or she does not want to be part of his or her life. According to Darwin, living beings are subject to the law of survival. According to the theory, we will avoid any situation or event that endangers our integrity and safety. Based on this point, we will be able to state what or who we do not want to be part of our life, but it is not so easy to decide what we really want. However, it is only when we make the statements in a positive way that we will have a better chance of success. One of the premises of Neurolinguistic Programming is based on the fact that it is easier to get closer to what we want, than to move away from what we do not want. The brain can only understand the negative by turning it into a positive. Maslow's Theory of NeedsAccording to Maslow's Theory of Needs, the top of the pyramid corresponds to the need for self-actualization, defined as the highest psychological need of the human being. From the point of view of dynamic psychology, it is a changing need, which understands that man reaches his fulfillment when he creatively self-actualizes. This creative expressiveness makes sense in the moments in which the human being is taken beyond himself. It is about the desire to become what we are capable of being. How to achieve our goals1. Definition and conceptualization of objectivesWe can classify objectives in terms of time: short, medium and long term. Our objectives represent the stopping stations towards the end of the journey, and therefore depend to a large extent on the place of arrival. What do I want to achieve in my future? What tasks allow me to develop my capabilities? 2. Once the objectives have been defined, we must redefine themThe objectives must meet the following requirements: Accuracy: the more precise the objectives are, the greater the awareness of their achievement. What do I really want? Adequacy: appropriate to the needs of each individual. What am I going to do to achieve my objective? Evidence: we must have evidence on a sensory basis that allows us to know that we have achieved our objective. How will I know that I have achieved it? Effectiveness: that they produce the results that the individual chooses. Resources: refer to the appropriate options to achieve the objectives. What resources do I need to achieve my objectives? Control: the subject must actively participate in the elaboration of the objectives and be aware of the control over their achievement. Sequencing: the objectives must be sequenced temporally, so that reaching one of them is a step towards the next one. Realism and Tangentiality: we must be aware of the moment in which we reach our objective, whether final or average. Thus, we will receive internal feedback that acts as a motivational resource. 3. Put an expiration date on our goalsThis will make us operate more efficiently in order to achieve them. 4. Open our minds to learning, new cultures and new experiences. We can always pick up along the way new ideas and ways of doing things that enrich our objectives. 5. Do not be afraid of failureEvery failure teaches us something we should learn or improve. We must understand failure as something positive. 6. Be persevering and constantIf you have decided to set a goal, you must persevere in it and not give up to achieve it, no matter how many difficulties you face. 7. Believe in yourselfWe direct our life and every act or decision must depend on ourselves. Ultimately, our objectives, goals and values are valuable to the extent that they enrich us. Therefore, it is totally legitimate to try to achieve them, to be like lighthouses that illuminate us and indicate the path of our life. You might be interested in... I hope you are well I hope you are well, take care of yourself and remember that there are always beams of light sneaking through the gray clouds of the landscape. Nothing is for ... 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VivianjoifF 3 posts Jan 23, 2022 2:34 AM	Curing narcissism with Heinz Kohut: 5 fictional characters. [IMG]https://lamenteesmaravillosa.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/joffrey-baratheon-1024x682.jpg[/IMG] [url=https://www.rxshopmd.com/products/antinarcoleptic/buy-modafinil-modalert/]modafinil max dose[/url] ?»?Narcissism is becoming increasingly common, especially in the younger generation. Part of the responsibility for this phenomenon comes from the media, which encourages this tendency in character. And undoubtedly, social networks have become "the queens of the mambo" in this sense. There is a continuous exposure of our private life, where we show strengths and weaknesses. Sigmund Freud defined narcissism as the "libido of the self", that is, as the attraction to oneself. Everyone has a libido, but there are people in whom narcissism is more pronounced than in others. People with this type of character are not in love with themselves, but they do show a lot of self-confidence and hold themselves in high esteem. They have a subjective view of reality, and take themselves as a reference to look at the world. That is why they find it more difficult to tolerate frustration. "He was like a rooster who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow." -George Eliot As experience shows us, rarely the excess or the absence of something is good; we must and tend to look for a balance. The healthiest option is to love ourselves, but without forming a distorted or unrealistic vision of who we are. In the world of fiction, there are many characters who have a narcissistic libido. We are going to comment on 5 examples that almost everyone will know, where we will propose some solutions of the psychoanalyst Heinz Kohut, who made great contributions to this study. Tony Soprano ("The Sopranos", 1999-2007)The famous HBO mobster is concerned with maintaining the maximum degree of power within the group. Moreover, he does not have an objective view of reality, but judges everything from his perspective, which is always the best. This gives him a moral parapet to exercise maximum violence without regard. Also on several occasions, his psychiatrist, Dr. Melfi, identifies him as a sociopath. We cannot exonerate Tony Soprano from his crimes, but we prescribe him to practice creativity. Seeing that there are many different ways of doing things, of dealing with a problem, makes us realize that it is much easier to take action than to become frustrated. Focusing energy on a creative activity means that we don't feel such a compelling need for the attention of others or to think about ourselves. Joffrey Baratheon ("Game of Thrones," 2011-present)Joffrey loves everything about himself and does not doubt whether he is doing the right thing. In this case, his position on the throne further reinforces his desire for power and attention with the citizens. He is independent of external factors, aggressive and with the ability to take action. I don't know if this character would be amused by our jokes, but we recommend humor. Humor is a triumph over adversity; laughing at ourselves or anything else relaxes and makes us feel good. Suddenly, it takes the importance out of things and we forget about everything. 3. Lucrecia ("??guila Roja", 2009-2016)Lucrecia's narcissism is the most typical, as she likes to show her physical beauty in every occasion, and her behavior, sometimes, is very sexual. Moreover, at that time women had no say, they were only taken into account for their beauty. She also enjoys a certain status, which often makes her behave with confidence and superiority in front of others. One of the surest ways to overcome narcissism is wisdom. If she would learn what is most important in life and how to keep it, she would not be driven by ambition and corruption. She would have a calmer and happier life. 4. Black Jack Randall ("Outlander," 2014-present)Jack is a captain in the English army and enjoys exercising his power. He doesn't care about rules, is arrogant and looks at everything from his point of view. He is also really aggressive towards people. Certainly, belonging to a certain social class can cause an unrealistic feeling of superiority to proliferate, leading to narcissism. One way to counteract this is empathy. Connecting with another person or putting ourselves in his or her situation makes us forget about ourselves, and brings out less selfish and kinder feelings. 5. Ross Poldark ("Poldark," 2015-present)Part of the charm of this protagonist is that he is often wrong because he is impulsive. The capacity for forceful action is common in a narcissistic personality. This impulsiveness or rebelliousness means that he does not question whether he is doing the right thing; he takes it for granted (security). Ross is not overly concerned with his physique, but that is no reason for him to know that he is attractive. We tend to attribute this concern to women, but the truth is that it occurs in both sexes. And it's not always identified with being well-dressed, because there are many ways to look good. We recommend Ross to accept himself, so that later his mistakes will not hurt so much. We all, in one way or another, have to face this mission, that of accepting our shortcomings. We can achieve our goals, always bearing in mind our limitations at all times. Surely other examples of characters in series or movies, or even an acquaintance or friend, come to your mind. Being narcissistic is part of the personality of many, and it is not a negative thing as long as it does not break the balance. 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VivianjoifF 4 posts Jan 25, 2022 2:55 AM	Let's pretend we don't have a deadline. ?»?Artisans of irony and sarcasm (toxic personalities) [IMG]https://lamenteesmaravillosa.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/ironia-1.jpg[/IMG]. The continued use of irony, far from being a trait of elegant wit, can actually become a double-edged sword with which to undermine our self-esteem. It is true that sometimes this resource can seem very original, and that those who use it can sometimes give us a false image of subtle attractiveness and sense of humor. In the world of cinema, television series and even in literature, we often meet this type of characters so skilled in the use of irony and sarcasm. But what really lies behind their personalities? Individualism, some arrogance and a peculiar talent to despise those around them. The creator of "bad irony" usually launches comments that actually seek to expose us for something, and to do so, they do not hesitate to use sarcasm to attack us in the most subtle and particular way possible. And for this, they do not hesitate to use sarcasm to attack us in the most subtle and particular way possible, but even so, it is still an offense. Have you ever received this type of malicious phrases? Let's talk about it today and also learn how to defend ourselves. The limits of ironyIt is often said that to promote daily happiness, it never hurts to practice a sense of humor and even to make fun of ourselves. It is perhaps a way to relativize things and also to be a little more humble. It never hurts to lighten a situation a little with an ironic phrase. It is a witty trait and helps us to smile. This is what we call "positive irony", that which does no harm and does not seek to attack anyone. However, we cannot overlook the other who "consciously" intends to harm the person in front of him/her. Let us think of those toxic relationships where one of the partners exerts control over the other person. The continuous use of irony or sarcasm is a way to dominate and humiliate, to underestimate our worth, to demotivate us and to take away our energy day by day. The Argentine psychologist Bernardo Stamateas explains that the use of irony and sarcasm is very common in the profiles of toxic people. Whether they are our partners, co-workers or even our family members, the purpose is always the same: to slowly undermine our motivation and the value we have of ourselves. "If you diminish yourself, if you look smaller and smaller and more and more fragile, they will gain power and have more control over you." The artisans of this ill-intentioned irony have many masks, and although it is possible that they hide a low self-esteem or a lack of self-confidence, you must be careful to know how to set limits. So that they do not destroy you from the inside. How to defend ourselves from negative ironyIf in your personal or work environment, there is a person accustomed to use the resource of irony from its most negative side, you should know that you have to put certain limits as soon as possible. If we do not do so, if we allow them to violate and attack us, it is possible that day by day "their art" will increase and we will allow them to have more power. A punctual resource can become a habit, and the habit in domination when they perceive that they are successful and that they manage to humiliate us. Do not allow it, do not let them hurt you with this type of irony on any occasion. We explain to you in a simple way how to defend yourself. 1. We receive an ironic commentWhat is the first thing to do? Think and analyze what you have been told, do not rush to say the first thing that comes to your mind. Some people are very skilled with sarcasm, so it is possible that there is no attack on you. Keep quiet and remain calm while you analyze the words that have been directed at you. 2. Have you been attacked and has your self-esteem been violated? The last thing you should do is to return another irony, because if you do, you are playing the same game. A cowardly game where direct and sincere words are not said. You are a person of integrity and you don't need to play with terms or people to say what you think. 3. Say out loud what this person meantNow say out loud what this person meant, without using irony: Are you calling me a coward? Are you telling me that I am not capable of doing this? Do you think I am less valid than you? Expose the offense in all its crudeness so that the other person reacts and argues it, do it calmly and with aplomb, hoping that whoever you have in front of you can argue. Irony, far from a theatrical stage, is always harmful. Never allow them to be ironic about you or your abilities. Courtesy images: Javier H. Lemen, JohnK You might be interested in... How to defend yourself against covert aggressions The passive-aggressive uses strategies that demoralize and irritate the other person, avoiding direct confrontation. How to defend yourself from these aggressions is a... 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VivianjoifF 5 posts Jan 27, 2022 2:25 AM	Donald Winnicott and his theory of the false self. [url=https://www.rxshopmd.com/products/antinarcoleptic/buy-modafinil-modalert/]purchase generic modafinil[/url] ?»?Donald Winnicott and his theory of the false self. [IMG]https://lamenteesmaravillosa.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/winnicot-donald.jpg[/IMG] Donald Winnicott was a famous English psychiatrist, psychoanalyst and pediatrician who developed an interesting approach to personality. Because of his training as a pediatrician he focused his reflections on children. Particularly, on the relationship between mother and infant and the consequences of this. He worked together with the famous psychoanalyst Melanie Klein, even in the treatment of one of his own children. He was also president of the British Psychoanalytic Society and a very celebrated thinker of the 20th Century. "In play, and only in play, can the child or the adult create and use the whole personality, and the individual discovers his person only when he shows himself a creator." -Donald Winnicott One of his most interesting contributions is that of the false self. Also his concepts of "good enough mother" and "banally devoted mother". Similarly, his concept of the "transitional object" has been adopted by many schools of psychology. The relationship between mother and infant, according to WinnicottIn line with other psychoanalysts, Winnicott posits that during the first year of life mother and infant constitute a unit. One cannot speak of the infant as an entity separate from its mother. The two form an indivisible psychic unit. Winnicott says that the mother is the first environment a human being has. It is the total basis of his subsequent development. Therefore, and especially in the first months of life, the mother is the baby's universe. The world is practically synonymous with the mother. The concept of "good enough mother" then appears. She is the one who provides the necessary care to the baby, spontaneously and sincerely. She is willing to be that base and that environment that the child needs. Without being perfect, she does not go overboard in her care, nor does she neglect the baby. This mother gives rise to a true self, or true self. Meanwhile, the "banally devoted mother" is the one who develops an excessive attachment or overprotection of her child. She is also the one who is not able to respond to the spontaneous manifestations of the child. She gives rise to what Winnicott calls false self or "false self". Winnicott and the false self The mother is like a mirror for the child. The little one sees himself as she sees him. He learns to identify himself with the human race through her. Little by little, the infant becomes separated from its mother and she must adapt to it. The child has spontaneous gestures that are part of his individuation. If the mother welcomes them, he experiences the feeling of being real. If she does not, a feeling of unreality is forged. When this interaction between mother and baby fails, what Winnicott calls "cutting across the existential continuum" occurs. This, in other words, means a radical interruption of the infant's spontaneous development. This is what gives rise to the false self or false self. Winnicott points out that in these circumstances, the infant becomes "the mother of itself". This means that he begins to hide his own self in order to protect himself. It learns to show only what, so to speak, its mother wants to see. He becomes something he is not really. The effects of the false selfThere are various levels of falsification in the self. According to Winnicott, at the most basic level are those who adopt a polite attitude fully adapted to norms and mandates. At the other extreme is schizophrenia, a mental condition in which the person is dissociated, to the point where the real self virtually disappears. For Winnicott, a false self predominates in all serious mental pathologies. In this case, the person uses all the resources at his disposal to structure this false self and maintain it. The purpose of this is to cope with a world that he perceives as unpredictable or unreliable. Winnicott indicates that a good part of the efforts of a person with a very strong false self are oriented towards the intellectualization of reality. That is, to convert reality into an object of reason, but not of emotions, affects or creative acts. When such intellectualization succeeds, the individual is perceived as normal. However, he does not experience what he experiences as his own, but as something foreign. He does not feel happy for his triumphs, nor does he feel valued even though he is. For him, it is his false self who has achieved it or who is being valued. With this, he marks a break with himself and with the world. His true self remains confined, fantasizing and experiencing a discomfort that he never comes to understand on his own. To Winnicott's theory could be added an interesting debate about the real existence of the "I". In order for a "false self" to exist, there must first be an "I". From Buddhist Psychology one can engage in a very interesting conversation with Winnicott's "false self". In essence, Buddhist Psychology states that nothing exists as we think it exists. This corresponds to the concept of Emptiness. We tend to understand the "self" as a static and unchanging entity over time. We identify with and cling to the self for fear of loss of identity. However, everything changes, including our self. Therefore, our "I" of a year ago would not be the same as the "I" of today. Thus, the existence of a self is there, but self in the way we believe it to be. Winnicott asserts that the individual is capable of falsifying the self, therefore, according to his theory a person would have the power to change the self. This aspect becomes relevant since, together with Buddhist Psychology, it supports the theory of a changeable and non-static "I". Winnicott's "I" could ultimately be seen as a socially expected "I". Just like the "I" that predominates today. We construct a "self" that fits, but do we identify with it? Our "I" is correct, but we observe everything with distance because we do not believe that it is us. Therefore, from Buddhist Psychology we can deepen in this theory from another point of view and adapt it to us to try to find that real and changeable "I" and to know who we really are. You might be interested in... 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VivianjoifF 6 posts Jan 27, 2022 2:36 PM	Trying to please and please exhausts [url=https://www.rxshopmd.com/products/antinarcoleptic/buy-modafinil-modalert/]buying modafinil australia[/url] ?»?Trying to please and please exhausts [IMG]https://lamenteesmaravillosa.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/chica-con-la-mano-en-el-rostro.jpg[/IMG] Many people desperately seek approval from their environment. Without it they are unable to make decisions, to choose for themselves without hesitation and to feel secure with their choices. The problem is that this destroys one's self-esteem little by little, in addition to the fact that trying to be liked and liked is exhausting. As the publication Social Skills rightly points out, "the need to please everyone is considered an irrational belief or expectation because it implies perfectionist and unattainable goals: it is impossible to please everyone". For this reason, trying to be liked and liked in many cases only generates impotence. People who relate in this way have to change their way of being drastically depending on the context. This generates a tension that generally manifests itself in anxiety. The effort to please that leads to rejectionAlbert Ellis, father of the ABC theory, considered that much of our suffering depends on our interpretation of reality, rather than on reality itself. Thus, many of the irrational beliefs we adopt are capable of generating much pain. Thus, by questioning and eliminating them we will improve our mental life and, therefore, our sensory life as well. Curiously, when we try to please and please others what we receive, on most occasions, is rejection. A rejection that hurts us and that clashes with the belief that "if I am the way others want me, they will love me". This dissonance between belief, action and the response we receive is what makes our pain and suffering increase. But, instead of trying to be ourselves, we become more determined to do better. It is then when trying to please and please exhausts us. Perhaps at first we may like people who are servile and always agree with us, but even this initial pleasant feeling soon turns into rejection because we identify in the other person an artificial being incapable of posing any challenge. This phenomenon is especially marked in some relationships: at the beginning everything is great, but as time goes by, boredom sets in. Think how difficult it can be to get to know someone who never shows himself as he is. That is to say, a being who never is, who has no voice and who for the vote photocopies what he intuits written in the expectations of others. "I don't know the key to success, but I know the key to failure is trying to please everyone." -Woody Allen The hidden face of liking and pleasingLiking and pleasing exhausts and that is when its hidden face can emerge. People who practice this way of seeking the approval of others can sustain the situation for a while. But when their energies falter, they are flooded with a feeling of discomfort from which they do not know how to escape because they have no references of their own. A state that, behaviorally, can manifest itself as aggressiveness. We all have a limit to simulation. No matter how much we behave in a complacent manner towards others, sooner or later the pressure will appear. The feeling of no longer being able to play an exhausting role can cause a very intense relationship to cool down in a short space of time. People who are very concerned about pleasing others are often also all-or-nothing people. They are incapable of dividing their attention, so when they get tired of one focus, they move on to devote it to another, forgetting the previous one. From responding like a best friend to responding like a stranger. "Wanting to please everyone pleases no one." -Rousseau- This way of acting is quite harmful. Many people use it to manipulate; however, others do it because they do not know how to relate in a healthy way and have such low self-esteem that they think they will drive away anyone who discovers their true personality. Working on self-esteem, changing what we can change and accepting what we cannot change at the moment are solid pillars for social independence. An independence that has a lot to do with autonomy, a protective factor against emotional dependence. You might be interested in... I like the way I am: I don't need everyone to like me. My way of being is authentic and I don't need to pretend what I am not to please everyone. 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VivianjoifF 7 posts Jan 28, 2022 12:23 AM	The alexithymic hypothesis of hypochondriasis. [url=https://www.rxshopmd.com/products/antinarcoleptic/buy-modafinil-modalert/]modafinil tablet price[/url] ?»?The alexithymic hypothesis of hypochondriasis. [IMG]https://lamenteesmaravillosa.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/mujer-preocupada-mano-frente.jpg[/IMG] Alexithymia is a term coined by Sifneos in 1972. It basically refers to the difficulty in identifying and describing feelings, although it also presents a number of other features, such as difficulty in distinguishing feelings from bodily sensations, reduced or absent symbolic thinking (lack of imaginative ability and operative or external cognitive style). Barsky and Klerman (1983) presented the concept of "amplifying somatic style". This would be a certain perceptual and cognitive style characteristic of people who present hypochondria and would involve several elements (Barsky, 1992): Bodily hypervigilance that entails an increased focus of attention on unpleasant bodily sensations. Tendency to select and focus on certain infrequent or faint sensations. Tendency to value somatic and visceral sensations as abnormal and indicative of disease, instead of considering them as normal. According to the alexithymic hypothesis of hypochondriasis, the limited awareness of emotional states and the difficulties in the cognitive processing of their affects - on the part of subjects with high levels of alexithymia - produce the amplification of the bodily signals of which we spoke. For this reason, this group of subjects has even been called emotionally illiterate (Lesser, 1981). But not only hypochondriacs present this pattern. Studies have also shown that in subjects with panic disorder there is an amplifying style of sensations, especially interoceptive ones. Thus, patients think that they will have a heart attack or that they will faint. There are different theories regarding the origin of alexithymia. For some authors it is a psychoneurological condition and for others it is a manifestation of a personality trait. The truth is that it seems that the combination of biological vulnerability and the environment would be responsible for the subject to develop alexithymia. The environmental reason may be recent, but it may also be an unresolved childhood trauma. In this sense, when we are very young, identification and subsequent emotional regulation becomes difficult. If the environment does not provide us with the tools to carry out this process, we could fall into emotional illiteracy. If you think about it, it is the same thing that would happen to a child who is predisposed to have problems with reading and who is not taught to read. Thus, he or she will become a person with a double difficulty due to the addition of the effect of the two factors. This reflects the importance of teaching children adequate emotional regulation through identification, understanding and management. On the other hand, two types of alexithymia have been proposed: primary alexithymia, which would have to do with neurological deficits inherent to the person and which are manifested since they are small as a personality trait; and secondary alexithymia, understood as a state and which is transitory in nature. Alexithymic hypothesis of hypochondriasisAs we have explained, alexithymia (inability to know exactly what I am feeling and to express it in words) makes it very difficult to manage one's own emotional world. Imagine that you suffer from this disorder and suddenly wake up one day with strange sensations in your body. A person who does not suffer from alexithymia might think: I have a little anxiety these days because of too much work. Surely the fact that it's hard to breathe is due to that. I am going to try to relax. However, a person who does not understand his emotions might think directly that it is lung cancer or some other serious illness. From the perspective of the alexithymic hypothesis of hypochondriasis, having this characteristic makes the person unable to discern between something as normal as suffering from anxiety from time to time and an illness of such caliber. Thus, you can imagine how the hypochondriac person goes through it and how, in turn, that fear becomes food for the symptomatology itself. This is just what we have discussed about the concept of somatosensory amplification. Like an endless loop, the person remains unable to label the feeling and it increases even more until finally something happens: going to the doctor, self-exploration, stop looking in the mirror, etc. Whatever it takes to control this misidentified suffering. What would be the treatment according to the alexithymic hypothesis of hypocodriasis? The treatment would be based on training in social skills as well as on the development of an adequate emotional intelligence. This requires a long therapeutic follow-up, since these skills are difficult to learn, but not impossible. As a priority objective we will have the fact that the patient learns to recognize the emotions that take place in his body, give them a name and then can understand where they come from and regulate them. If the patient is able to learn this process, it is much more difficult for him to fall into the trap of somatosensory amplification, since he would not make such a biased and magnified attribution of his bodily sensations. The same would be true in panic disorder. It is important that the patient is also aware of the limitations of the therapy. As we have mentioned, alexithymia is sometimes so ingrained that it constitutes or could be mistaken for a trait. The goal is not to stop being totally alexithymic. Such high expectations can frustrate us; in the face of them, it would rather be a matter of making progress little by little. Simply the fact that the person knows how to identify an emotion, whether his or her own or someone else's, should feel satisfying, as this is a great achievement for that person. Little by little, by identifying emotions, we will be more prepared to manage them. At this point it is interesting that the patient suffering from hypochondria or panic, accepts the emotion and does not judge it. He should give it a name, the name it really has, but not go beyond that. The treatment based on the alexithymic hypothesis of hypochondria, postulates on the other hand, that it is necessary for the patient to say to himself "I am feeling palpitations because I have anxiety" and not "My heart is palpitating and this means that I am going to have a heart attack". We stay with what is happening now and try to resolve that emotion in the best way if we can, and if not, we will simply accept it as an inherent part of being human. You might be interested in... What is emotional intelligence? 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VivianjoifF 8 posts Jan 28, 2022 5:33 AM	Medulla oblongata: structure and functions [url=https://www.rxshopmd.com/products/antinarcoleptic/buy-modafinil-modalert/]modafinil buy online[/url] ?»?Medulla oblongata: structure and functions [IMG]https://lamenteesmaravillosa.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/bulbo-raquideo-senalado-cerebro.jpg[/IMG] The medulla oblongata or medulla oblongata is a subcortical structure located in the lower part of the brainstem. It contains nerve connections that carry out sensory and motor functions. Now, what exactly is it responsible for? What is its importance? Through this article we will solve these questions and explain some curious facts about this structure of our brain so important for our survival. Structure of the medulla oblongataThe medulla oblongata is the most caudal structure of the brainstem. It is cone-shaped and connects the brain to the spinal cord. However, in both composition and function it is not homogeneous. In addition, it is formed by different nuclei, in which there are very relevant structures such as the following: Bulbar pyramids. They are located in the floor of the bulb and they highlight the bundles of nerve fibers that connect the bulb with the cortex and the spinal cord. It is here that the pyramidal decussation -especially the motor pathways- takes place, that is, a crossing of the nerve fibers from one side to the other. This explains why the cerebral cortex is responsible for the control of movements on the opposite side of the body. Inferior cerebellar peduncles. They are located in the posterolateral area. They connect the cerebellum with the upper part of the medulla oblongata. Nerve fibers pass through them. Lemniscus. These are bundles of nerve fibers that transmit information between the brain and the spinal cord. The lemniscal fiber bundles also decussate, but carry sensory information. Medial Lemniscus: it is an elongated, thin, highly myelinated structure located on each side of the midline of the medulla oblongata. It carries information originating in the gracil and cuneiform nuclei. It is located behind the cerebrospinal fibers and between the olives. Medial longitudinal fasciculus: this is a region located next to each medial lemniscus. It has numerous ascending and descending fibers. Its function is vital for head position changes and for the coordination of eye movements. Olivary complex. It is located in the brainstem, partly in the pons and partly in the medulla oblongata. It is a set of oval-shaped nuclei, similar to an olive. They regulate voluntary muscle movements. Nuclei of the medulla oblongataThe nuclei consist of clearly differentiated masses of neurons. Let's look at some of them: Trigeminal nucleus. It is responsible for transmitting information related to pain, temperature and touch. Dorsal nucleus of the vagus. It passes through the vagus nerve, hence its name. These are neural networks that control the enteric nervous system. Nucleus ambiguus. Pertaining to and initiating in this nucleus are the vagus, accessory and glossopharyngeal nerves, which are responsible for the muscles of the pharynx and larynx. Nucleus of the solitary tract. It is responsible for the control of visceral sensitivity. It is also involved in taste perception. Functions of the medulla oblongataThe medulla oblongata is involved in several functions, which are vital for the organism. In fact, the destruction of this structure or the cessation of its functioning results in death. Let's see: Control of autonomic functionsThe medulla oblongata is responsible for the control of the involuntary functions of the viscera and the maintenance of homeostasis. For example: Cardiovascular system. It is responsible for maintaining blood pressure and also for regulating heart rate and maintaining vasoconstriction. Respiration. The medulla oblongata is responsible for regulating respiration, i.e. it manages respiratory function. Digestion. It manages the involuntary muscles involved in this process. It also regulates the secretion of digestive juices and participates in swallowing processes. In addition, the medulla oblongata manages other involuntary actions: Coughing. Vomiting. Sneezing. Sensory controlThe medulla oblongata is also responsible for the transfer of sensory information between the peripheral system and the central nervous system. To do this, it connects the two systems and sends information to the thalamus which is then communicated to the rest of the brain. Problems associated with the medulla oblongataIn the medulla are some cranial nerves (IX, X, XI, XII), their damage causes problems in the regions and functions they control: Glossopharyngeal or cranial nerve IX. Collects gustatory and sensory information from the pharynx. Facilitates swallowing by coordinating various neck muscles. It also transmits signals to the salivary gland. Vagus nerve or cranial nerve X. It is also known as pneumogastric. It innervates the pharynx, esophagus, trachea, bronchi, heart, stomach and liver. In other words, it regulates our autonomic system. Accessory nerve or cranial nerve XI. It is also known as spinal. It is in charge of cephalogyric movement. Therefore, it intervenes in movements of the head, neck and shoulders. Hypoglossal nerve or cranial nerve XII. It intervenes in the muscles of the tongue and in the action of swallowing. If one of them fails, swallowing and even movement problems may be experienced. Thus, when this structure of our organism does not work properly, the following could be experienced: Difficulty or paralysis of movement. Respiratory and cardiac problems. Dizziness. Difficulty swallowing. Loss of consciousness. Weakness. Lethargy. Visual and hearing problems. 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